This post is dedicated to my friend, who sent me something truly horrible to behold...
The cello really has come a long way since the violin family was first unveiled in the 16th century. From being relegated to the basso continuo and other supporting roles, the cello now enjoys a prominent role in the modern orchestra and chamber groups, and a rich literature, both classical and modern.
When played, the cello has a sound which is truly unique among instruments of the orchestra. No other instrument has such a mixture of weight and singing quality as the cello does. In fact, the highest (A) string of the cello has a name of its own...
Chanterelle. French for singing string.
I'm not actually being derogatory here... at least not intentionally. Of course, each instrument is unique in its own way, in terms of sound and mechanics. But what I'm trying to say here is that cello literature only sounds good on the cello.
At this point, my readers would probably be trying to find counter-examples to prove their point, only to fall flat. Nice try...
In fact, the main gist of my post is about to follow. I hereby proudly present:
The Top 5 Sins Against Cello Literature
These are my top five picks of transcriptions of cello pieces for various other instruments. None of them actually sound good, of course, but the quality varies from pretty decent to really bad.
#5 - Haydn Cello Concerto in C major
Sergei Nakariakov is one of today's top trumpeters who, incidentally, has quite a few cello pieces in his repertoire, among them Tchaikovsky's Rococo Variations as well. This rendition of the Cello Concerto no. 1 in C major, on the flugelhorn, is actually very decent, but the natural limitations of the trumpet make it unable to execute some of the concerto's interesting features, such as the second subject of each movement in double stops. Overall a fine performance.
#4 - Bach Cello Suites
I have a friend who insists that the Bach suites CAN actually sound good on the viola. Let me officially state my opinion on that for posterity:
Screw off, you viola joke.
I understand that horn players frequently practise the Prelude from Suite no. 1 for pedagogical reasons - the leaps of 5ths and 6ths make for good embouchure training. However, the limitations of the horn are clear: except for a few movements (for example the famous Sarabande from Suite no. 5), the horn WILL struggle with the polyphony of the work.
#3 - Bach Bourree
These people should be forgiven for their ignorance on this one. Few people actually know that this very famous dance by J. S. Bach is actually a cello piece. It's from the Third Cello Suite in C major, no less. And now they transcribe it for violin, and add piano accompaniment?
Blasphemy.
#2 - Saint-Saens Le Cygne (The Swan)
I found this rendition on bassoon and pipe organ on YouTube. I think it's probably the best attempt for a non-cellist. This is where the singing quality of the cello is really at its height. The pipe organ is a bit misplaced, but the bassoon makes a great attempt to sing. Being a conical instrument, it tends to get a bit difficult for the bassoon to expand the lyrical feeling as it gets to the top of the phrase. In fact most of the woodwind/brass instruments which could make a barely-passable rendition of The Swan are all conical: saxophone, euphonium, French horn...
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And the most horrible crime against cello literature ever committed...
#1 - Elgar Cello Concerto
This is what my fool of a friend sent me. And the sad part is, he actually thinks it sounds good.
I mean, the Elgar cello concerto is, to a lot of people, the Holy Grail of the cello literature. It is probably the best-loved cello concerto today, though probably not the most well-written in my opinion. Precious loves this concerto too.
I mean, I do play the Bruch and Mendelssohn violin concertos on the cello (I can do the octaves pretty well, you know =P) but I do that as a joke. And if you seriously think this is good, well then I'm sorry to say you are alone in your opinion. All the Jacqueline du Pre lovers are now your enemies, for one. And that's just the beginning.
Firstly, you can't spread the chords correctly on the double bass, thanks to the tuning in 4ths instead of 5ths. And if you have the gall to play the chords at pitch, then where is your courage when it comes to the high, high E? (Yes, it's technically impossible of course...) My opinion of the high E is that it's pretty decent, but nowhere near the effect and emotional intensity achieved with a ear-splitting high E (for the record, it's an E7), well into violin range.
